One of the best ways I found to connect with people and learn way more about autism than I ever wanted to was to volunteer. It has also taught me a lot on a personal level. I've volunteered with several organisations over the past 5 years or so.
I helped fundraise for a conference I attended for several years. Through this organisation I was able to learn a huge amount about the biomedical side of autism, where I feel the most promise exists. I was able to connect with families from all over the country and we compare and contrast what we've implemented and if it has helped our child. I was able to mingle with the very researchers that are trying to unravel the mysteries of autism. It's a great way to feel empowered and to get new ideas. It also helps cut down on the cost of attending some of the conferences, since many organisations have discounts for volunteers.
I have volunteered with American Military Families Autism Support (AMFAS) for the past 4-5 years. Since AMFAS' stance is to respect all treatment approaches, it has really helped me to be considerate in how I phrase things. Everyone has their faults and one of mine is my tendency to rush to judgement. I try to keep the AMFAS position in my head. As it is my right to choose a biomedical path to healing and recovery, others prefer to use a 100% therapy model as their strategy. Many of my friends don't use biomedical interventions and their children are also doing well. I try to remember that each child is different. For my child, I know that the biomedical approach is the right one, for others who maybe didn't see immune or gastrointestinal problems, maybe it would not yield as noticeable results. As in normal parenting, we each choose our battles and we have that right, without other parents judging us. After all, life with a child with autism is hard enough without those who should be our allies becoming our critics.
Through my involvement with AMFAS I also learned to advocate and educate. I have become very adept at reading military policies pertaining to the care of military children with autism and educating other families on the implications of these policies.
Another benefit of volunteering is that you feel useful. Parenting a child on the spectrum is very hard work. It's unrelenting and exhausting. Connecting with other parents helped me detach from my own situation and feel like I was helping. Helping other families. Helping other children. It's something that will lift your mood and reassure you that you are making a difference, even if your own child is taking two steps forward and one back.
So - my advice? Find an organisation you connect with and volunteer! Choose an organisation that you believe in their mission (whether or not it relates to autism). Many parents of children with autism find it impossible to work, especially in the early years of many appointments, before full time school comes along. Get out there. Get out of your own home and connect with people. You might meet people who change your mindset and your life. At the very least, you will feel that you contributed to something in the world and made a difference.
Be choosy and careful with your time though. I can speak from personal experience on this one. There are many organisations out there that will suck every second of your time. Remember that your primary job is your child and everything else comes second. If you are able to allocate a specific amount of time for volunteer activities, make sure you stick to it.
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